BUILDING 04.16.2013

By: Michelle Stephens

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”



I watch with admiration and a little envy as my daughter confidently walks up to another child at the playground and says, “Hi! Want to play with me?” And, just like that, they are friends. No awkwardness, no judging, just friends.


This is a trait that she did not inherit from me. I find the whole making and building process of friendships to be daunting. Nothing sends me into an anxiety fueled spiral more than having to introduce myself to someone new. My confidence runs one way while my social skills dart the other. I am left in the middle, staring at this new person with the social grace of a drunken lepar. This is not the best foundation in which to start a friendship.


I have started to build a few new friendships in the past year only to have the foundation crack and crumble. The common ground that initially brought us together became our demise. It happens quickly and often without warning. Sometimes, you work really hard to build something beautiful. You become inspired and work day and night. You put a lot of yourself into it. Once it is completed and done you step back only to realize the inspiration that drove you to create this beautiful thing is gone. All you can do is be grateful for the process, for the experience, and walk away. Walk away and try again.


Other friendships build so gradually that you can not pinpoint the moment you became friends. I have one such friend. Our foundation is strong with many similarities. Our lives have overlapped for years. Slowly, from a friend-of-a-friend to acquaintance to a full fledged friendship. The base was worked on, unknowingly for well over a decade. Each interaction making the structure stronger. And now, just recently, a shared project. A shared passion. All of this created a comfortable relationship.


A good friendship is worth it. Like a building with a strong foundation, it will stand the test of time. Sometimes all it takes is the courage to walk up to someone and say, “Will you play with me?”

1 comment:

  1. Your talent for writing these literary traces is amazing. Your words just flow along and have so much meaning. I am so proud of you and your talent. Love Mom

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