Wonder 06.27.2013

Laying there on the counter, carefree. It does not even realize the power it has over me right now. Its snazzy purple case, its lightness in my hand. It does not realize how important it is to me.

I wonder, will it ring? Will there be good news? Or will…

Wait, it’s ringing…

“You make me smile like the sun,
Fall out of bed,
Sing like a bird,
Dizzy in my head,
spin like a record crazy on a Sunday night.
You make me dance like a fool,
forget how to breathe,
shine like a gold,
buzz like a bee.
Just the thought of you can drive me wild.
Oh, you make me smile.” (Uncle Kracker – You Make Me Smile)

I love that ringtone, it is the best ringtone I have ever had… wait, the phone is ringing…

I wonder who it is? My heart is beating out of my chest...is this the phone call I have been waiting patiently for; patiently? Yeah right...I have been boiling over with stress waiting. It’s been three weeks I wonder if they've already hired someone. 

Crap, I left the phone upside down I can’t even glance to see if I should answer.

Ok, ok, I’ll pick it up. Damn it! It’s just a follow-up call from my student loan company.

”No nothing’s changed lady. I still don’t have a job and right now you are taking up precious air time.  Yes I will let you know when things change.”

I hang up quickly.

Pacing through the house, I wonder if they tried to call when I was on the phone with that Representative. Crap, I hope that didn't ruin my chances.

It’s ringing again! This could be it… running to the kitchen… “Hello?”

WRONG NUMBER.

Have they picked someone else? Will they even let me know they offered the job to someone else? Will I get a call for an interview? Am I going to have a position in the fall? Are we going to end up having to move? Will my kids be ok with the changes to come? Why can’t I just know now?

I Wonder….