It is hard to let your guard down. To allow yourself to truly have faith in another human being. It is that moment, when you choose to let go, when it feels like your stomach might drop out, it is in that moment when you learn the most about yourself.
I rarely let my guard down. I have built fences so high around myself that I make Fort Knox look like a public garden. This is the result of years of trusting the wrong people and falling for well orchestrated lies. Each time I was left standing in the dust, alone, I would grab another panel and build my fence a little higher.
It is hard to allow someone behind that fence. What if you are mistaken once again? What if you let them in only to discover it wasn't meant to be. Even after they have walked away, a part of them is forever stuck behind that well crafted fence.
I rarely let anyone in. Instead I walk out from behind it. I keep most of myself inside and only allow small pieces to venture into the open. Unprotected. Years of overly optimistic views of people has left me peeking from behind my fortress.
But those I do let in, those who stay, those who allow me to be myself and love me because of who I am not despite it, they are amazing. They are the people who gently take a section of fence down. They remove the barrier and allow air in. They let the sun shine in, illuminating the love in my life.
It is hard to allow people in. To let your guard down. It is easier to built fences and live in your fortress. But the payoff when it all goes right, when the right person is let in, it is worth all the splinters.
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